Surviving Solitary

“The officer put me in a cell without any lights. The sink was clogged, with nasty water that had soap scum in it. The walls of the cell were smeared with feces. The ventilation system blew dust into the cell because it had not been cleaned in years. Whenever the toilet flushed in the neighboring cell, raw sewage would flow into mine.”

— Gregory, Illinois

“We learn early on that if you make any allegation of inappropriate conduct, you are going to the hole… While there, I was in pain, alone, and had no one to talk to. I was provided only minimal follow-up health care and no treatment or counseling for the sexual abuse I reported. I was kept in the hole for more than 30 days. I was never told if an investigation was being conducted into my report or when I could expect to return to general population… While my experience with solitary confinement was almost 20 years ago, it will stay with me for the rest of my life — and such horrific treatment is not a thing of the past.”

— Troy, California

“I spend 24 hours a day in a cage — or, more specifically, a bed. I cannot find the energy to even take a shower. Day after day, I sit here rotting in a bed and no matter what I know intellectually, I cannot bring myself out of my lethargy. It seems that even with my physical safety assured, I’m still in need of help.”

— John, Texas

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“I have been sitting in confinement since May 2015, since my roommate raped me. I am being held so long because they are waiting on the Inspector General’s Office to get finished with the investigation. I was the victim of this crime and I go to be held in confinement. People that are raped on the street are not held in jail pending investigation, so why should I be held this long? This is not right. They keep telling me I am not in trouble and that I have the same rights as inmates in open compound. If that is true then why can I only use the phone one time a week, can only order four food items a week? This is crazy. ”

— Carl, Florida

“Texas keeps me in solitary conferment but they call it ‘protective custody.’ For about two years I have been locked away like this, and they refuse to let me out due to not being able to protect me from the rapist. It’s crazy. The victim is locked up, but the rapist is not. I do not understand that. Only in Texas. I asked about maybe getting out of Protective Custody. The answer is always the same: no. TDCJ does not even have a program in place to help rape victims get out solitary conferment because they can’t protect me. They keep locked up because they can’t do their job or control the rapist. So the victim is punished for reporting the attacks. I do not know what it worse — living through the rape, or living with the thoughts of the rape while I’m in solitary confinement, alone with no one talk about it. Texas has 100 units and they can’t keep me safe on one. Their answer is to lock the victims up, not the rapist.”

— Chris, Texas

“I had no idea that I would be retaliated against by being placed in segregation and made to suffer. Just because I reported sexual harassment by an officer. I understand now why inmates don’t report sexual assault or harassment. It’s because they are afraid. I witnessed a few rapes in the past few years, and nothing was done about it. The inmates who reported it just got placed in segregation or transferred as punishment for reporting. I learned my lesson. You can rape me and sexually harass me, and I will not say anything. Just don’t retaliate against me and tell me that it’s policy to place me in segregation. ”

— Aaron

“The Administration has kept me locked up on forced administration even though the perpetrator has been charged and convicted and the investigation is over. I sure don’t want to do more years on lock up. That would rob me of what little quality of life I struggle to have.”

— Paul

“He came and got me in the middle of the night and told me if I didn’t have sex with him that once again I would be put in segregation and not be able to see my children … I was scared and knew I couldn’t win and had sex with him. Shortly after this I completely broke down and told a staff member who I felt I could trust and she told internal affairs. I was locked down in segregation and eventually transferred to another facility while in segregation the whole time. There was a full investigation in which I was given a polygraph and spent my Christmas locked down. I was immediately transferred and was placed directly in segregation, where I remained for three months.”

— Meagan, Kentucky