Survivor Stories

It’s me, Christopher, I got the things you sent me, and you just do not understand the feelings going around in my mind. I’m reading the “ Hope for Healing” and it has me crying. The feelings I feel are in there. The things I’m doing to myself are in there, answers are in there. It’s like all my feelings that I could not put into words, someone [else] did. Whoever put this book together has really touched my pain. I see so many things each day in this place that I just do not want to believe. I do see myself in this book.

Getting raped destroys you from the inside out, and it takes a part of you and puts it where you can’t reach it. My momma quit writing me because she found out I was married to another man in here. She told me I was sick and she did not want to write anymore. And she stopped. See, she knows I got raped, but she doesn’t understand how I’m surviving now. I ran to another man and married him so I wouldn’t get raped again. My thoughts are so crazy on this; at times I do not understand them. The fear is so great in my heart.

I try to break the fear, but the only thing I break is my heart…most times I close my eyes and come out my body til it’s over…I feel so alone inside. I have learned to stay alive inside these walls. I have no one to hear my voice inside these walls. I feel no one will understand any of this if they have not been through rape and lived through it.

Well, I will close, just thought I would thank you for the book and share some of my feelings with you. Thank you for understanding and being there.

-Christopher, Texas