Survivor Stories

I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read this. My name is Clarence, and I am a bisexual man who has a feminine, youthful appearance, and is small in size and stature — 5’6’’and 135 pounds. While doing time in Texas prisons, I have been subjected to numerous sexual assaults, ranging from inmates exposing themselves and masturbating in front of me to inmates physically wrestling me down and raping me.

Last month, an inmate who is 6’2” and 265 pounds tried to jump on me because I kept refusing his sexual advances. I ran away and tried to make a report. In order to get the staff to listen, I had to hold a razor to my wrist.

My mom and dad have passed away and I have one brother who is a drug addict. Needless to say, I am alone with no one to help me. I can’t tell you how it feels to be physically assaulted and raped. I can’t tell you how it feels to be forced to watch men, whom I am not the least bit attracted to, masturbate. I can’t tell you how it feels to go through these experiences alone. Prison administration and guards turn a blind eye to all my pleas for help, and retaliate when I exercise my right to file grievances and seek legal relief.

At one facility, they tamper with my food, isolate me in my cell and deny me recreation, pay inmates to beat me, and — in an attempt to keep me from seeking legal relief — have refused me access to the law library, denying me my Constitutional rights. You would not believe how common these things are. Your friends and family, if you have any in prison or jail, may be enduring these same experiences. We are all human and no one should have to go through these things.

I’m writing this because I want to contribute, now and upon my release, to efforts to stop these acts. I can’t help that I’m small and feminine. I should not have to have sex with anyone I don’t want to — neither should the next person, male or female, free or in jail.

Every call, every letter, and every action you make toward supporting JDI and organizations like it, helps. No one should have to go through these things. Rape is not part of the penalty.