Back in 1995, the unit I was on was big on rape, gang violence, and killing. In November of that year, my celly approached me and told me he needed to talk to me. As soon as I went into the cell, two more guys came in. I sensed something was wrong so I started fighting as hard as I could. But I was outnumbered. I was held down while the men took turns raping me.
I went to Medical, where the nurses completed a rape kit and confirmed I was raped. I was placed in protective custody. When the officer from Internal Affairs came to see me, he asked if I wanted to file charges. I asked if he would put me in safekeeping, because if I snitched, the gang that raped me would kill me. The Internal Affairs officer told me I would not be put in safekeeping. So I decided not to give names, saying, “Don’t worry about it, I will take care of it on my own.”
The following year, I attacked one of the inmates who was involved in the rape. As a result, I was placed in Administrative Segregation, where I have remained.
I have experienced low self-esteem and depression and have cut myself. I have acted aggressively towards officers and inmates. But now I’ve slowed down. I’m trying to better myself and build my self-esteem up.
With all I have experienced, I know it is hard to cope through such pain. But I’m going to do anything and everything to build myself stronger each day.
– Joshua, TexasBack